Let go and let God...

Seriously?! Who has managed to do this? I would like a show of hands...uh...maybe posts.

 I have been to mass 4 times in the past 2 weeks and I have decided that perhaps my hiatus from working was meant to become more of a spiritual trek to find my own inner peace. I had it when I was working and it is a reminder of why I loved my job so much. Not the students...which I loved, not my co-workers...who I admired, not the subject matter...that I adored, but starting my day off with morning prayer that allowed for one big breath and moment of peace before the craziness of the day began. I left work feeling a peaceful sort of exhaustion that allowed me to pick up my own kids from school feeling ready for an afternoon and evening of fun with them. It was like running a race...you're exhausted at the end of it, but you feel so great when  you're done. I had an inner peace when I was working, now I think my goal is to find it in our new routine at home.
Each night when I go to bed, I try to "let go and let God" but I still find myself up at night trying to put my worries to bed. I knew that being a control freak was going to bite me one day...apparently that day has arrived. Each time I go to mass I feel like the homily is written especially for me to help me out...but in all honesty, sitting through mass with 3 little ones doesn't always allow you to hear the entire homily. I think God has been ever-so-kind in allowing me to get the "spark notes" version of it lately. I wonder how I can help my children establish their own inner peace if I have yet to find mine?!  I'm going to continue to work hard on letting go of the things I can't control. Hopefullly sometime soon "let go and let God" will become more than just words, but a way of life.