I love my job. I have said it time and again, I work with tremendously inspiring people who teach for all of the right reasons and push my desire to improve my own teaching through the roof. I have missed Xavier. I missed the energy of my students. I missed the thrill of learning something new everyday. I missed the feel of the silence as 700+ students who just finished screaming their hearts out proving their school spirit, stand silently out of respect and reverence for the end of the day prayer. I work in an amazing environment with some truly gifted individuals.
With that said...I miss my kiddos. It breaks my heart to drag their tired bodies out of bed in the morning. I feel guilty when they ask if I can just stay home with them like I used to. I feel loads of guilt as they ask if I can pick them up on "the blue line" instead of having them go to afterschool care. I want to have my cake and eat it too. How can I get a few more hours in my day so I can take the time I need to be good at my job all while spending quality time with my children?
I realize it is quality over quantity, but when our days are scheduled in that each hour has something that needs to be done, how do you make up for the time lost when you can't control the needs, emotions, or abilities of a 6, 4, or 1 year old and a tantrum ensues? What happens when by 8:30pm you finally remember that not only did you miss lunch...but dinner too? How do you prioritize grading papers vs. working out when by 9pm the only thing you want to do is fall in a heap and there are still lunches to pack, dishes to wash, and a pile of paperwork to sort through? How do you erase the guilt when students come to your class the next day and ask why you didn't attend their game the night before? How?
Kids or no kids...how do people prioritize their life so that they are in the moment and not always thinking about the next thing that has to be done in order to fit everything in for the day. Any advice?
7:45pm - baths and brushing...cute...but overly scheduled?
With that said...I miss my kiddos. It breaks my heart to drag their tired bodies out of bed in the morning. I feel guilty when they ask if I can just stay home with them like I used to. I feel loads of guilt as they ask if I can pick them up on "the blue line" instead of having them go to afterschool care. I want to have my cake and eat it too. How can I get a few more hours in my day so I can take the time I need to be good at my job all while spending quality time with my children?
I realize it is quality over quantity, but when our days are scheduled in that each hour has something that needs to be done, how do you make up for the time lost when you can't control the needs, emotions, or abilities of a 6, 4, or 1 year old and a tantrum ensues? What happens when by 8:30pm you finally remember that not only did you miss lunch...but dinner too? How do you prioritize grading papers vs. working out when by 9pm the only thing you want to do is fall in a heap and there are still lunches to pack, dishes to wash, and a pile of paperwork to sort through? How do you erase the guilt when students come to your class the next day and ask why you didn't attend their game the night before? How?
Kids or no kids...how do people prioritize their life so that they are in the moment and not always thinking about the next thing that has to be done in order to fit everything in for the day. Any advice?
7:45pm - baths and brushing...cute...but overly scheduled?
2 comments:
We need to sit and talk some time. I have a million ideas and things to say, but it's so overwhelming. I'll say a prayer for you, mama.
You wouldn't feel guilty if you weren't "in tune" with EVERYTHING! You're doing it! We just need to remind you how well you handle it all. Meal planning is huge. Sometimes a beer is more necessary than a workout. Students wouldn't ask you to attend if you weren't the type of teacher who DOES attend events. Reading is my "me" thing even if it only happens once a week. And you have developed a relationship with your children that is extraordinary. Every minute counts. That is valuable beyond hours and hours of endless time. And...sleep isn't entirely necessary. If this doesn't help...I suggest you start liking coffee. It makes me superwomen six out of seven days.
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