Parenting

There are a million different parenting styles, and I won't judge a single one of them (so long as it is legal and safe). Parenting is hard stuff. Not a day goes by that I don't pray that I'm not somehow messing up my children. Thankfully, I am surrounded by some fabulous mamas that parent in a wide range of styles so there are lots of ideas to help me parent in the style that I feel best fits the kiddos entrusted to me. From my "granola-y" mama friends (who talked me into cloth diapers and there was no turning back) to my "color-coded calendar" mama friends who feel scheduled kids are happy kids (some days my calendar is what keeps me sane), I try to balance a little bit of every part of the parenting spectrum. 'Permissive', where children are allowed to set their own schedules and make their own decisions to 'Authoritarian,' where children are given reasonable demands and high expectations for high responsiveness...to each their own. 

I believe I fall a bit more authoritarian during the school year when there seems to be more to do than hours in a day, and a bit more permissive when summer calls and demands of work don't pull me in a million directions (so if someone decides a science experiment that results in an hour long clean up is a great idea...it doesn't completely derail our day). 

What I have landed on; I want my children to grow up feeling loved, challenged, and blessed. I want them to work hard for what they get. My 4 year old does her own laundry, my 8 year old scrubs bathrooms though she detests it, my 10 year old is learning to mow the lawn. I have noticed the girls friends would rather play at their houses than ours because we have too many "rules." However, in a world of participation trophies, I don't want them to feel entitled to something they haven't worked their hardest for. I want them to understand that we all pitch in to make our lifestyle work and that sometime you have to do more than your fair share so that the day that you can't, others will help you out. I want them to experience disappointment so that they can better understand gratitude. I don't want our schedule to dictate the time it takes to learn and grow, however, I also don't want lack of schedule to discourage them from being productive and hard-working. 

At the end of the day, I have been asking myself if my parenting decisions were made with love or selfishness. If I can end my day knowing - whether it be punishment, hard work, encouragement, criticism - my kids understand that whatever happened that day, happened out of love...I think I feel okay with that. 

Why can't you just tell me the answer? It's SO hard.

-- sorry kiddo, homework in the summer keeps us sharp! :)