Love never fails...

Above our bed we have a sign that reads, "Love never fails" 1 Corinthians 13:8. I love this sentiment as it is the Bible reading from our wedding and has rung true for us over the past 15 years. However, it was also the first thing that popped into my mind as I crossed the finish line on Sunday. I went to Chicago to get my questions answered, and the answer was literally staring at me in the face the whole time...love never fails. 

My expectations for the marathon didn't really hold true. I wasn't as anxious as I thought I was going to be. The weather didn't seem as hot as predicted. I had far fewer emotional breakdowns than I had anticipated. I didn't cry when I crossed the finish line like I had imagined. My knee never really hurt, the "wall" never came, and other 'unknowns' of the day never came to fruition [though I did, in fact, lose a toenail which I never in my wildest dreams imagined happening]. :)

My heart is happy. I prayed God would help me understand Will's journey; how much pain or fear or struggle he had to endure, and I truly think I experienced it. There were moments of sadness, but mostly joy. There were parts where the emotion made it hard to breathe, but the people who love me got me through them. I was fatigued toward the end, but if someone asked me to keep going, I truthfully could have. However, when I reached the finish line, I felt ready to be done. 

As much as I didn't want to finish the race, it felt complete at the end. I had such an incredible sense of peace when I finished. Looking back it makes me laugh a little, because there was also this sense of disbelief. Did we really just run a marathon? Did we really just cross the finish line with smiles on our faces? Can our bodies really feel this good after all they have just endured?

I have wondered a lot of things over the past year and this marathon has served as the closure that I think I needed.  I truthfully don't think Will felt pain or fatigue or struggle that he did not ask to endure. We didn't push him too hard for our own selfish desires and when it was time for him to leave us, I think he was at peace knowing his journey here was over. Now, my only wonder is if that disbelief that I felt at the finish line was how Will felt when he smiled at the face of God.